The Unexpected Tool That Healed My Body

I’ll never forget the moment I realized that my thoughts directly affected my body. I was 25 years old and I hadn’t had my period in 4 years. I had seen every doctor you can think of, from OBGYNs to Gastroenterologists, to Allergy Specialists, to Nutritionists and Acupuncturists. All of which thought they knew why my period had stopped and how I could get it back.

I did all of their treatments which included several different diets, pills, herbs and exercises but none of it worked. Each time a treatment would fail to bring my period back, I would fall deeper into depression. My mind was flooded with negative thoughts about if there was something really wrong with me and if I would ever be able to have a baby.

One morning, I drove to the park to go for my daily run. I parked in an empty lot overlooking a green field. I sat in my car as I did most days, trying to psych myself up because running had become something I loathed during that time.

But this day, instead of jumping out for a run, I walked into the field and sat in the grass. I closed my eyes, felt the air on my skin and began to cry. It was as if all of the pressure of the last 4 years came down on me in that moment. I couldn’t do anything. I was done trying. I was tired of hating myself.

I don’t know how long I sat there but when I got up, something had shifted. My mind was no longer filled with negative thoughts about why I wasn’t enough or what I should be doing. It was just peaceful. That day, I stopped trying to fix my body. I stopped worrying about my period, my future or how people perceived me. I stopped letting my mind tell me I was broken and instead I started living again.

Three months later, my period came back.

It was that day that I realized that I had been trying to heal my body all those years when really I needed to heal my mind. I believe that my stressful thoughts had affected my body by shutting down my menstrual cycle. No pill, no diet, no exercise was going to bring it back. The work needed to be done emotionally, not physically.

Becoming more aware of my emotional wellbeing helped me tremendously through preparing to conceive, pregnancy and new motherhood. Although it wasn’t always easy to remember to check in with my thoughts, when I did, I was able to process them better and get to the root of my problem with ease.

Working with Expectful, I’ve watched so many women’s lives transformed by becoming aware of how their thoughts affect their health, relationships and overall happiness. Noticing the importance of this, I came up with three tools to enhance your emotional state so that your body and mind can be as healthy as possible.