Nicole Dabeau, a TV Host for Fox Sports, is on a mission to change the way we think as women. Nicole is a new mom to a 6 month old little girl named Charlie whose journey through pregnancy and motherhood gave rise to her new passion project: globally unifying women.
There was something about my interview with Nicole that made me feel like we were destined to connect as new moms. We both have 6 month old daughters and we both, after becoming moms, realized that we want to help other women feel supported and understood during their own motherhood journeys. But it wasn’t just this small coincidence that made me feel more connected to Nicole. It was the fact that we both went through something after giving birth that changed the way we think about new motherhood: postpartum depression.
When our conversation started we both shared our motherhood journeys –
I told Nicole how I started with Expectful and how I wanted to help pregnant women and new moms emotionally. All by conveniently skipping over the fact that I had postpartum depression, which is one of the driving factors in why I wanted to help new moms.
Nicole told me the story of how she felt empowered during pregnancy and how motherhood has made her feel more creative and passionate about women supporting women. “All we see on television are shows about women being catty or aggressive towards one another. I want to create a show that celebrates women, one that shines light on women’s struggles and unifies us through them.”
After speaking longer and listening to Nicole’s passion behind women not being afraid to talk about the “real stuff” that’s happening, I felt the urge to share my struggle with Postpartum depression with her. I realized that by not being open with women about this hard time in my life, I was making it difficult for other women to open up.
After telling Nicole I apologized for not saying it earlier, I added “I was scared of how you would react.”
To my surprise (and shock) Nicole shared with me that she too had struggled with PD.
This was the first time a woman had ever told me “I had postpartum depression too”. The overwhelming relief that I felt in that moment symbolizes everything Nicole is trying to create: celebrating and supporting every part of what it means to be a woman.
I can’t wait to see what Nicole’s new project has in store for all of us but until then I hope you enjoy her inspiring interview below.
I love how much being a mom challenges me to be my best self. It also breeds creativity and passion, which have helped me create my new project and a newfound excitement in what were once mundane activities. Charlie brings out my goofy, 5 year old self and that is awesome! Also, during my pregnancy I started to experiment with surrender and how powerful it feels to just let go and trust. This served me during my birth and in motherhood it brings me back down to earth when feeling overwhelmed with everything us Mommas have on our plates.
I’d say the biggest challenge was shedding my old identity. I have had many breakthroughs around how tightly wound I was to the identity I had created over the past 30 years. That and the lack of sleep!!! I have always loved my sleep.
You must make this a priority, stay committed and build a support system. If momma isn’t 100% then no one else can be 100%, so making sure that you are getting your needs filled is of the utmost importance. I recommend asking friends, your partner or family to hold you accountable. Also, set yourself up to win by booking things at the start of each month. Pull out your calendar, choose dates that are just for you, hire a sitter or get family or friends to help you out and follow through. If you confirm dates/appointments in advance you won’t come up with one of the million mom excuses to stay home.
Oh wow! Brace yourselves? Haha. I’m (kind of) kidding. On a serious note, I’d recommend implementing daily “couch time”. This means every day you and your partner spend 20 minutes (typically after work) sharing your day. What you loved. What happened. Your challenges. What you learned and so on. It’s a wonderful way to keep communication fluid, share what you’ve learned about your baby and just get on the same page while your everyday lives are very different. Not to mention, its wonderful for your little one to see her parents communicating and connecting daily. Oh and hold hands while doing it! Men focus better when being touched!
Hmmm, people would probably be most surprised to know that I went through postpartum depression. That being said, considering how many of us actually experience it, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise at all. What came up for me during my postpartum was anger! A ton of nasty anger! My fuse shortened and I was on a destructive path. Mommas (and Daddas), if you are having new/irregular feelings or thoughts of sadness, loneliness, anger, you name it, please please please reach out for support! PPD is incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of. It is part of being human. If you ever just need someone to talk to, email me @ Nicole@iamnicoledabeau.com. Seriously, I will be there to help you take the first step if you need me.
What a question! I want to teach Charlie that everything she needs is already within her. She is perfect, whole and complete just as she is. To trust her intuition and always take leaps.
Follow Nicole Dabeau on Twitter: @NicoleDabeau
What’s your favorite part about being a mom?
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Self-care can be a challenge for moms. What advice do you have for moms who want to incorporate more self-care into their lives?
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What lesson do you most want to pass on to your child?
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