11 years ago, Adriana Lozada became a mother to her daughter Anika, and from that day forward, her personal and professional life changed forever.
Before becoming a mother, Adriana worked in communications, co-founding a youth-oriented newspaper and media company in Venezuela. Her work helped to give a voice to the younger generation, allowing them to understand that as a community, they had freedom of choice and the right to “question everything.”
In a short amount of time, her newspaper took off, “All of a sudden everyone wanted it, it resonated with everyone” says Adriana.
The company expanded into a clothing line, radio show, and a book publisher.
However, aside from the monetary success of her company, what Adriana really loved was that she was able to give a voice to a community that wasn’t being heard, seen or supported.
Eventually, Adriana left Venezuela, moved to New York, met her husband and became pregnant.
After giving having her daughter, Adriana felt dissatisfied with her birth and new motherhood journey. Although she had the birth she wanted on paper, she never felt truly supported through it. This realization is what propelled her to become a doula.
“I decided I wanted to campaign for birth. I wanted to help other women own their births” says Adriana.
Merging her love for helping others and her drive to make other women’s birth and postpartum experiences different than her own, Adriana started Birthful – a doula practice that helps women tap into the confident, calm & fearless mother within them.
Now, Adriana is an advanced birth doula, an eco-maternity consultant, a postpartum educator and a child sleep consultant. She’s a bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host – all part of her quest to help women have a smoother transition into motherhood.
It is my pleasure to share Adriana’s thoughts on motherhood with you below.
- What’s your favorite part about being a mom?
My favorite thing definitely has to be the laughter that my daughter brings into my life. My daughter has a great sense of humor and is constantly cracking me up. I’m also grateful for having the opportunity to love someone so much and being able to discover who my child is through her daily actions, seeing her resilience and how capable she is become. She’s still a wacky tween, but also a responsible, caring and loyal one.
- What’s been the biggest challenge being a mom?
Things are much easier now that my daughter is 12, but when she was little, I’d say that the biggest challenges were having to care for a person around the clock and not being in full control of my life (because, you know, kids have their own agendas).
I know that for me to remain sane, it’s really important that I take time for myself to recharge. When that wasn’t possible, it was really hard to not be swept up in all sorts of difficult feelings such as anger, resentment, and disappointment. I feel that having a mindful practice has really helped how I deal with those situations and how I approach all relationships now. When these feelings start bubbling up, I can now, more often than not, step back and observe why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling and accept it, rather than just let it spill out everywhere. I’m less reactive, and that’s always a good thing.
- Self-care can be a challenge for moms. What advice do you have for moms who want to incorporate more self-care into their lives?
I love the saying: “If mom ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”. While that mantra can be really helpful at eliminating the initial resistance and guilt of taking care of yourself, I find that often getting past that guilt is just the first obstacle towards self care. It’s important to take it a step further and really dig deep to figure out the things that TRULY make you happy, not those that simply give you an endorphin fix (like in my case, eating chocolate, stopping for a fancy decaf drink, or mindlessly engaging with technology).
I find that for self-care to make a lasting impact, it’s important to get to the core of what makes you tick, what makes you happy, and determine a few ways you can nurture that.
So for example, I adore being in the tropics, specifically at the beach. At the moment, I don’t have a Caribbean beach just out my back patio (one can dream!) but I know that, for me, the underlying core elements of that desire are being in nature, swimming in the ocean, drinking water from coconuts, napping, getting a Vitamin-D-rich sunbath, being detached from technology and a schedule, and being spontaneous… you get the idea. So then I try to make sure to incorporate things that resonate with that core need –like being outdoors barefoot, disconnecting from routines, eating fresh fruits and veggies, getting enough sleep, and being open to spontaneity– in my daily life.
- What’s the one piece of relationship advice you would give to new parents?
Remember that you are a team! Caring for a baby often means having to split responsibilities and time. While that ‘divide and conquer’ attitude is essential, it can often mean you only see each other in passing, or come together when you are both exhausted and cranky. It’s easy to get disconnected from each other, not only physically, but at all levels. Even if it’s 5 minutes a day, carve out some time to mindfully check in and ask one another: “what do you need?”
- What’s one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you as a mom?
That I didn’t have a doula. Ha! We totally regretted that decision.
- What lesson do you most want to pass on to your child?
Explore! Explore the world, explore who you are. Be curious. Give yourself permission to be yourself, regardless of outside pressures or trends. Enjoy the process more and be less attached to outcome. Try to let go, to allow life the opportunity to surprise you.
More about Adriana Lozada:
Adriana Lozada’s background is multi-layered and multi-cultural. A former print and online editor from Venezuela, the birth of her daughter sparked her passion for being a birth advocate, leading her to open Birthful: a company that helps new and expectant parents take on whatever maternity sends their way.
She is a certified Advanced Birth Doula (DONA International), a postpartum educator, a healthy sleep consultant and eco-maternity consultant. Adriana is also the host of the Birthful Podcast, where she talks to amazing, knowledgeable, and passionate birth professionals every week, to help new and expectant parents inform their intuition, so they can have more rewarding pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences.
Adriana lives in Rochester, NY with her husband and 12 year old daughter.
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