Before interviewing Liddy Arens, I was already immensely intrigued by her story, or should I say her “birthing stories.”
Liddy, a mother of four, has had two unassisted births, and all her babies were born in super relaxed meditative states. As a new mom who recently went through labor, this was really hard to comprehend. My birthing experience was not even in the same universe as her stories, so I was a bit skeptical… but when I got to know Liddy better, her birthing stories made complete sense; this woman is a force of nature and I’m beyond honored to feature her in this article.
Liddy is one of the most enchanting women I have ever talked to. I felt as if I was meditating while just speaking with her, which makes sense considering she is a Meditation and Ayurvedic expert who specializes in fertility, pregnancy, birth and motherhood. She is also the wife to Meditation expert, Charles Knoles who has taught over 7,000 people to meditate.
What I noticed most about Liddy is her curiosity, compassion and gentleness. As I interviewed her she would often ask about my experiences as a mother, wondering how I was doing and truly listening with kindness and support.
She was also extremely open about her own experiences, telling me that at age 18 she was told she was infertile. Her doctor said “get comfortable with just being a really good aunt”. She opened up about her own miscarriages, as you’ll read in her answer to question #5. She expressed that going through these tough moments in her own life is what now helps her to relate and understand what many women are going through.
Liddy’s approach to helping women through their own motherhood journey is all about getting to know what’s happening “inside.” She often talks to her clients about how they are feeling, what thoughts they are having and how those thoughts might be affecting them on a deeper level.
Liddy’s family sounds like something straight out of a fairytale. When I asked if her children meditate, she said “Yes, everyday” and then went on to tell me how just yesterday they were all meditating on the beach together. “My children meditate for how many minutes they are in age. The older girls took turns meditating. My 6 year old played with the younger kids while my 11 year old meditated, and then they switched. Charlie and I were right there with them. They see us meditate everyday. It’s what’s normal for us.”
To say that Liddy is a Mom who inspires might be the biggest understatement ever. Talking and getting to know her on a deeper level through the questions below was a wonderful and eye-opening experience. Read on to learn more about this amazing woman.
What’s your favorite part about being a mom?
- My favorite part of being a Mom is seeing the world through my kid’s eyes. It’s like having “fresh eyes.” They find magic and wonder in everything. They can feel the breath and heart beat of nature and their deep connection to it. When I experience the world like they do I feel my awareness expand and my enjoyment in life increase exponentially. It’s what makes being a mom is really fun.
What’s been the biggest challenge of being a mom?
- My biggest challenge being a mom spending time alone with each child. Having 4 children means that there are a lot of beautiful shared experiences but I have to put special attention into carving out focused one-on-one time with each child. I try my best to give them each a few minutes every day. Those moments are so magical. We both, me and whichever baby I’m with, feel such a deep connection. Our special moments together nurture our intimate bond. They are still part of me, but now instead of being connected by an umbilical cord we hold hands.
Self-care can be a challenge for moms. What advice do you have for moms who want to incorporate more self-care into their lives?
- Get started early. Self-care has to be a non-negotiable part of your day. Just like brushing your teeth. But just like all non-negotiables when you have kids–be prepared to adapt. For instance, I never want to leave the house without brushing my teeth, but there have been rare occasions that I find myself out and realize I forgot to brush. Every time, I rush to brush as soon as I get home. It’s the same with all parts of my self care routine. If I can’t get it in first thing I do it as soon as I can. I like to take two hours for myself every morning before my children wake up. I wake up scrape my tongue, oil pull, give myself a warm oil massage, meditate and do some light stretching. My self-care routine fills me with the love and nourishment I need to be fully present with my kids. I think it’s great to share your self-care routine with your kids, explain to them how your self-care routine makes you feel and why you need it. Kids adore their moms and really want them to feel good. If you explain why you need it they will be happy that you are doing something that makes you feel better. You can even tell your babies why you need some time for yourselves. Babies understand long before they start communicating. Just speak it out loud. “I do this because x, y, z” and they will understand. It’s also just good for you to speak it out loud because sometimes you need a reminder of how important your self-care is for you. Speak it out loud so you can hear how taking time for yourself makes you feel. As a mom, feeling good helps everybody feel good.
What’s the one piece of relationship advice you would give to new parents?
- To turn towards one another. Remember that the both of you became parents together, meaning you are both going through a big change in life… Communicate with your partner, invite them into your experience. Talk about the changes you’re going through. Often after having a baby women feel lonely and like they need tons of extra love and support. It is important to remember that everyone in the family has just gone through a major change and everyone is adjusting. We all have the same needs and desires. We need to turn towards each other to feel loved and supported. Reach out, physically, emotionally, spiritually and hold each other. Look for kind words when communicating, even if you are feeling agitated. Love and cherish your partner just like you are cherishing your new baby. Love is a precious magical thing. Don’t squander the opportunity to feel the magic.
What’s one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you as a mom?
- Most people are surprised to hear I’ve had 5 miscarriages. A lot of women don’t really talk about miscarriages and kind of assume if you have a lot of kids you are super fertile. But fertility isn’t like an on or off switch. It is about developing a richness in your body and mind. Having a miscarriage doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy pregnancy, or even that it’ll be difficult–it just means you have the opportunity to really cultivate that richness in your mind and body and prepare for an amazing pregnancy.
What lesson do you most want to pass on to your child?
- To really love themselves. The biggest lesson I can teach them is to love themselves, it is the most important thing in my opinion. I hope that they can grow up to learn to start each day with self-love.
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