I remember the first time I took a pregnancy test. It was right after one month of trying. I can still feel the disappointment I had when I saw the negative result. I can hear my hopeful thoughts,
“It takes time, Anna. I’m sure next month the test will be positive,”
But the next month’s test wasn’t positive either. Nor were those that came in the several months that followed.
I don’t know how many pregnancy tests I took, but I do know something in me started to break with each negative result. Each month I watched as the conversation in my head turned from hopeful and enthusiastic to fearful and heartbroken.
One morning, when I was getting ready to visit my family two states away, my husband placed his hand on my shoulder and said he needed to tell me something before leaving. It turns out my brother had told him that my sister-in-law was pregnant. He knew how emotional I was about not being pregnant, so he thought it was best to tell me before they announced it that day in front of everyone.
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I broke into hysterical tears and threw my head into his chest. At the core of it, I was jealous – jealous she was pregnant and not me. It felt like everyone else had no problem getting pregnant, but I couldn’t. On top of that, I felt horrible that I couldn’t seem to be happy for my brother and his wife.
Out of My Devastation Came Realization
That day, something in that jealousy woke me up. It was at that moment I realized how stressed I was about trying to conceive. Having a baby had become a destructive addiction that was emotionally tearing me apart.
A few days later, I decided to stop trying to conceive. Yes, I still wanted to be successful at getting pregnant, but I stopped focusing on “trying.”
Instead, I focused on taking long walks. I paid attention to my breath and being present. It was as if I started a fertility meditation practice without even noticing it.
And two months later, I was pregnant.
Throughout my life, I’ve observed that every time I step back, see how my thoughts are affecting my body, and make a conscious effort to practice letting go through meditation, I open up space within me for whatever it is I want.
I’ve noticed this same thing when speaking with other women trying to conceive. Like me, whenever these women began a fertility meditation practice, they stopped blaming themselves, decreasing their stress, and increasing their self-compassion.
In other words, they got better at focusing on the positive rather than the negative. And in doing so, they successfully created a health space in which a baby could grow.
There are numerous tools, strategies, and treatments out there to support a woman’s body while trying to conceive:
The process of successfully getting pregnant involves several moving parts, so as you can guess, the list goes on and on.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much talk about how women can support their minds. We all know there is a mind-body connection in all of us. We can’t ignore one and expect the other to work efficiently.
Realizing the vital role our emotional health plays in the fertility process, I decided to look into how meditation for fertility can help women when trying to conceive.
What I found opened my eyes even further. Fertility meditation is the missing tool in fertility care.
Here is what my research revealed about meditation for fertility:
For the longest time, I thought menstrual symptoms were normal. It turns out they indicate a more significant issue: hormonal imbalance.
Hormonal imbalance can affect important chemical signaling in the body and cause problems with ovulation.¹ Obviously, this doesn’t help the chances of getting pregnant.
Luckily, fertility meditation influences hormone centers that can help balance hormones to promote conception.²
Starting a regular fertility meditation practice can help recalibrate your hormones, allowing them to function properly so you can create a healthy environment for a baby to grow.
When I was trying to conceive, I obsessively tracked my ovulation and menstrual cycle. I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing while trying to conceive.
But, in the end, obsessing over getting pregnant was doing just the opposite. Every month I was hit with another negative pregnancy test, leaving me stressed, anxious, and upset until it was time to try again.
Studies show stress is linked to reduced fertility in both males and females.³ ⁵ One study of 291women undergoing IVF treatment revealed that anxiety and depression negatively affected fertility.⁴
Looking back, I can see how much my stress affected me getting pregnant, and I didn’t conceive until I started managing it.
When my husband and I started trying to conceive, we joked about how “fun” it was to make a baby. Unfortunately, that initial excitement was quickly replaced with worry and concern about whether or not we were even able to have children.
These feelings of inadequacy made us feel disconnected from ourselves and each other when we needed support more than ever. Research shows mindfulness practices, such as fertility meditation, can enhance compassion and kindness⁶. And they may have saved my husband and me from a lot of arguments and misunderstandings.
I was really hard on myself during my fertility journey. I blamed my body for not working correctly and my mind for not being smart enough to figure out the solutions to my infertility.
When I started practicing fertility meditation, I noticed I was more gentle with myself and others. Studies back this up with data showing meditation being associated with self-compassion and stress management.⁷ Knowing how much meditation has allowed me to have a more positive and compassionate inner dialogue, I can’t help but wonder how much that would have helped during the inevitable ups and downs of trying to conceive.
After diving into all this research and seeing how mindfulness has helped so many women through their preparing to conceive process, I have come to the realization our society ignores one key tool when it comes to getting pregnant: meditation for fertility.
I hope, within the next few years, when women walk into their doctor’s office looking for the tools to support them with getting pregnant, fertility meditation is right in line with ovulation tracking, nutrition, and exercise.
We understand that growing your family while having a healthy and happy pregnancy and baby is probably a top priority for you right now.
We created Expectful to help you harness the power of your mind to have a healthy, happy pregnancy and baby.
All of our meditation content is based on interviews with many soon-to-be and new parents just like you, and is created with the help of licensed psychologists, hypnotherapists, and meditation experts. You can practice in just 5 minutes a day.